Beach, beach and more beach

Yes, I've been an absentee blogger as of late.  I think that's a good sign.  It's a result of us hitting our stride here in Hawaii which I feel like we hit at about a month in.  We have our routines.  Our fave local eating spots.  A church we love.  We know our way around.  We add in a new adventure each week and of course venture out of the city every weekend.  

Bellows Beach.  The winward side.  Beautiful
 white sand.  Big waves.  The kids are not big fans.

Of the MANY cute bathing suit options
at Wally World back home... Ariella
chose the giraffe with sunglasses.  A
lesson in letting go for this type A mom.

A fun sea urchin find at Magic Island.  We've learned which ones
you can touch and which you can't.  

 Across the street anda  bit of  stroll down the beach boardwalk gets us to the Hale Koa beachfront hotel.  Its for military or DOD employees only and we have access to their HUGE, warm, saltwater pool.  Its become at least a weekly afair.  And we have fun with our underwater camera.

Josiah wont look at the camera.  Don't worry, he's not drowning.

  The super cool thing about Hawaii is that all beaches are public.  Even if there is a resort or something on it, it still has to be open to the public.  We could go to a different beach each day and never hit the same one.

Ala Moana park just a short jaunt away

Josiah is much more of a "play in the sand" kind of kid.  He
enjoys the water in short stints

Man made Lagoon the kids prefer just across the
 street at the Hilton

This is our "everyday" beach.  Its right across the street.
That's diamond head in the background.  We swam with sea
turtles twice right off this beach!

She's really starting to look the part.

Ko'Olina Lagoon #2.  Most people just set up at #4 bc its right next
to the parking lot.  But if you're willing to walk down the lovely
paved boardwalk to #2 it's way less crowded, no resort chairs and
lovely thatched umbrellas free for anyone to use.

The Underwater Death Trap

If you know me, you know that waters of the moving variety, ie. rivers and oceans, are not really my jam.  Bless his heart, (I hear that's what southerners say to be polite when they'd really rather say the opposite) my husband found an excursion that promised to place us in tight quarters with 60 other tourists, seal us up and plunge us 100 feet down into the ocean.  Joy.  Joy of all flippin' joys.  

Here's a view of Waikiki Beach and the city I've been describing to y'all.

I have always thought it remarkable that there are servicemen (and women? I don't know) that LIVE on submarines in order to protect our country.  I DO NOT KNOW how they do that...  How they adjust, live, eat, breath, sleep, don't go insane on a submarine.  I have always said I would NEVER want to go on one and would NEVER want to go out on sea trials like some of Jason's co-workers do.  Then I toured the USS Albacor which is on land and I can freely walk out of anytime... and my feelings were 100% affirmed.

So when my husband found a tourist submarine for our family to adventure on... AND told our children AND got them excited about it before discussing it with me....  I wanted to wring his handsome little neck.  I truly did not see the point in paying approximately 1 million dollars to suffocate in an underwater claustrophobia inducing, underwater death trap.  I'd have been more than happy to sweep that little idea right under the rug and have our children be none the wiser.  

The boat that took us out to the subs.

But I did the good thing.  The parent thing, where you sacrifice your own desires, put aside your own fears, and plaster a big old happy grin on your face and pretend you're SOOOO excited.  Especially when you're children start saying the night before that they're a little worried about going down in the ocean... what if something happens and they can't swim out?  Well, then you just tell them all the logical things you've been telling yourself over and over... about how safe it is and how long its been running and how nothing as ever gone wrong.  And you pray.  You bow your head and pray for them and their concerns and reassure them, once again, before you kiss them goodnight.  And then you lie awake in your bed a little longer and pray for the Holy Spirit to give you peace and gentleness, to give you the power to be the mom He wants me to be to these kiddos tomorrow even if you're inwardly flipping out.  

I know, I'm a little dramatic, a little high strung, a little nervous-nelly about certain things.  But this is the stuff that really goes on in my head... in my life.  And I promised y'alll I'd keep it real.   It's who I am and each additional year God chooses to bless me with, I learn more and more how to embrace it and trust Him to shape me and use me in spite of it.... or because of it... either way :)  

The underwater death trap.

In case you're wondering.... we survived!  Shocker I know.  It really was fun, despite Josiah coming down with a fever that very morning.  He fell asleep at 11am IN THE SUBMARINE and slept the whole time even with a very loud tour guide speaking the whole time and we knew something was up.  So, the boy missed it but the rest of us had a very neat adventure.  

There goes Ella.  Down the hatch!

No, my WB was not insanely off.
That's what the colors
actually looks like in the sub!

We saw 2 green sea turtles eating and coming up for air over and over again as we waited on the dock.  We had a nice cruise out to the subs and just as we were pushing off we spotted a large pod of dolphins leaping through the surf.  We got to watch the sub surface which was neat.  And then we saw fish galore, huge moray eel and a giant sea turtle as we passed reefs, shipwrecks and plane wrecks.  (All the ships and planes were placed there to help sustain reef growth).  

Did you know that when you are that deep in water, certain light wavelengths cannot get through and so some colors are intensified and others you cannot see!?  My nails were painted teal green and Ella had some blues in her dress, but down as deep as we were you could not see those colors.  Weird and fun.  We learn so much here every day! 

I learned pictures really don't come out well when taken 100ft down in water and through a submarine port hole.  So we focused more on just enjoying the experience and snapping a few here and there.  In total we were under water for an hour but it really felt like 20 minutes.  Kuddos to our tour guide.  He was hilarious!

A beautiful view of Diamond Head on our cruise back to shore.

Awwwww FREAK OUT!

I'm sorry to admit this, but it's not a true family trip unless there's at least one good freak out from me.  Let's all pray one is enough and I'm good for the summer.

Part way through our second week here, something snapped.  I think it had been brewing just beneath the surface since shortly after we arrived on the Island, but it came out last week.  One afternoon an impending, "WHAT ON EARTH HAVE WE DONE!?" moment set it.

The walls of the condo started closing in on me.  I felt confined, trapped, suffocated, like a caged animal.  And along came all the restlessness, anxiety and agitation that you can imagine would come along with that kind of situation.

I longed for the ability to have my kids just say, "Im going outside mom!" and then open the door to  run free on our ample green lawn, build forts in the woods and jump some energy out on the trampoline.

Here, going out is a production.  Have we lathered on our toxic death cream?  'Cause we'll burn in 2 seconds flat if we haven't.  Do we have any and all gear we'll need for the beach?  Did we lock the condo?  Do I have the keys?  And then when we get outside, we're blasted with the NOISE!  people, cars, buses, obnoxiously loud motorcycles, air brakes, sirens, trucks beeping, people honking.  Its like a slap in the face each time we open those doors to the outside world.  Then there's the super fun walk to..... anywhere. "Hold my hand."  "Josiah, next to me please."  "Stay to the right so people can pass."  "ELLA!  CAR!  watch. out.  You HAVE to look!"  "Stay in front of me so I can see you."  "Come, on.  Hurry up, before the light turns red again."  "No we're not buying that.  No you can't have that.  No we don't need to rent that."  Exhausting.

And if those children argue over who gets to push the flipping elevator button one. more. time.  I'm gonna flip my flip.  Seriously.

 I long for wide open spaces.  I miss peace and quiet.  My heart breaks each time we pass the harbor littered with filthy trash or walk down the street, through a park... wherever and my children ask, "Why do people just throw their trash here?" ...and I have a sinking feeling that I'm powerless to change that.  My lungs need to open wide and breath fresh air.  My mind needs to fall asleep and wake up to the sound of crickets and peepers instead of sirens, horns, engines and tour buses of screeching tourists.

If I had a penny for every-time I've said, "Would you do this in school?  Would you act that way in school?  Would you speak that way to Mrs. Akerberg?" I'd be a rich, rich woman. (Have I told you lately how grateful I am for Mrs. Akerberg and our wonderful Seacoast Christian School!?)  Lets just say, my desire to NEVER home-school my little love that is so much like me has thus been confirmed!

I miss being able to get groceries when I want to.  I miss understanding what people say when I ask for directions and they tell me a street name.  Every single word starts with a K or an A and has approximately 1 million vowels all strung together.  The way I would pronounce them is clearly wrong and so when someone else says a street name I clearly don't understand which one they are saying.  (Examples: Kamehamea, Kaihuopalaai, Kaukonahua) Say those ten times fast!   I'm not making these up.  Really.  Im not.

I miss having my own car and being able to go where I want when I want.  Being restricted to bus schedules and routes is hard.  It stresses me out every-time we attempt public transit.  First of all I'm not sure if I'm taking the right route to get to where I want to go.  Then I'm not sure if I'm at the right bus stop.  Once on the bus I'm not sure which stop to get off at to transfer to the next bus.  And it takes forever.  We went to a home school co-op field trip today and it took us over and hour to get to a place that is a 15 minute drive by car.  Then it took us an hour and a half to get home because the bus back only comes by every 30 minutes.

I feel most helpless when tears stream down my Ella's face and she whispers, "I miss my friends." Which happens a few days a week.  We're trying.  We're reaching out... at church, at the library, at home-school co-op.  But we're limited by no car and most people live outside the city and aren't interested in coming in.  And she's pretty painfully shy when it comes to making new friends here... which is proving tough to do when we're just "passing through".  People seem to have their people already and aren't super interested in investing in someone who's only going to be here 3 months. 

It all just kind of hit me at once.  I began to seriously question my sanity in bringing the kids for so long.  I was truly doubting if we could make it here for 3 months in the city.  So I did the natural thing... and relied totally on my own feelings.  I got quiet and moody.  My stress and anxiety ended up coming out on my family.  I isolated and slept a lot on just a few short days.   And poured over condo listings far, far away from here, dreaming of the ability to move to the Hawaiian country! (Lets just say.... not gonna happen... $$$$$)

Then, as usual, I snapped out of it.  I prayed and turned it over to God.  I talked it out with Jason.  I talked to the kids.  I turned my perspective around and started making plans.  Is it different?  Yes.  Is it hard?  Yes.  But different and hard are GOOOOOD.  They grow us, they stretch us, they teach us.  They shine light on our complacency and the things we take for granted and make us so much more grateful.  They give us glimpses into what others do and how others live every single day... not just for a summer.  They grow our mind, our heart, our spirit.... if we let them.  And so we will choose to let them change us... for the better.  

Anytime we are feeling down or frustrated or homesick, we can ALWAYS turn it around and find the good, the positive, the adventure.  We can always find things to be grateful for.  And we are choosing to do that and asking the Lord to anchor those things in our hearts.  We are, and plan to continue, getting out to a library and a home-school co-op activity each once a week.  Have a few beach days and a stay in and chill day, and reserve the weekend for adventuring.  We made a summer bucket list for Hawaii that we are steadily checking off.  We read A LOT.  We went on Craigslist and got a CHEAP jogging stroller and SUPER cheap little razor scooter for Ella so that we can expand our walking radius... and fun factor!  We continue to explore using the bus and we're determined to know the system and the road name/languages like the back of our hand before we leave!  

I'm sure there will be more "moments".  But I feel like I've had my decent sized panic and freak out and worked through it.  I feel confident we can not only make it for 3 months but really enjoy it and learn and grown... even if we are in the city!  I am grateful for this opportunity and know that God has a purpose for us and through us here!  Thanks for letting me keep in real!

Makapu'u Lighthouse Pictures